I have not been blogging for over a year, other than my post
last November. I thought that I would attempt to explain why in this post. God has led me through much this past year and several months.
I started this blog to minister to others who like myself
had suffered pregnancy loss. The name of the blog comes from my two babies in
heaven and my prayer for children. In July of 2016, I started a new job in home
healthcare. This job took up a lot more of my time with all the charting that
needed to be done, but I absolutely loved it. While I was busy learning the new
aspects of my job, in August my husband and I found out we were expecting our
rainbow baby April 29, 2017. For the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, I had
morning (or all day) sickness. During the pregnancy, I had anxiety that this
baby would not make it; I had frequent nightmares of going to my OB office and
hearing the awful words, “I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the heartbeat.”
Thankfully, I never heard those words. I was in two car accidents, one because
I had passed out from low blood sugar levels and the other from someone behind
me not stopping at a red light. I lost my job when the company I worked for closed
down February 10. February 15, I went into labor and was put on bed rest, and
March 4, at 32 weeks, our rainbow baby, Olivia Mae, was born. I struggled after
her birth. It felt like I had been robbed of carrying her for 8 more weeks, of
taking care of her for the first 6 ½ weeks of her life, of having the
experience of birth (I had a c-section because she was breech). Those were dark
days in my life.
Fast forward to August 2017. I started getting some
pregnancy symptoms and got a test- It was positive! We went for an ultrasound
in September and found out that Baby was due March 15, 2018, Just 11 days after
Olivia’s first birthday. This pregnancy has been much better than the last. Only
2 days of nausea/sickness, a much better doctor/ midwives, and much less
anxiety. I often wonder how I will handle having two babies a year apart. But I
am sure God’s grace will prove sufficient. For now I just keep trusting and
following Him.
So now you know what I’ve been doing in these months of
silence. God’s strength and grace have proved sufficient all the way and He has
taught me some things as well.
Olivia at 10 months old
New Years Eve 2017
